20 July 2011

Language again

A few days ago, I linked to this article from my facebook page - "Why do some Americanisms irritate people?"

This morning, they published this followup piece - "Americanisms: 50 of your most noted examples." Mostly, I was amused. I agreed with more than a couple, though. So, one by one:

1. "Can I get a..." is something I use with some frequency. At stores and restaurants. Sometimes varied with "could I have." Apparently, though, us idiot Amurricans only ever use it to say "Can I get a 'Hell Yeah?'"

2. "Least worst option" is, in fact, the most worst option for describing the least of several evils.

3. "Two-time" and "three-time" are sometimes clearer than double or triple. To say Al Gore was the two-time Democratic nominee for President is clearer than "double nominee" or however our cousins across the pond would prefer.

4. "24/7" is apparently here to stay. Until it looks and sounds dated, at least. Give it time, it'll quietly go away on its own.

5. "Deplane" isn't even the worst of it. Have a listen to "Brain Droppings" by George Carlin. He'll give you a whole RAFT of terms used by airlines.

6. Hey, friend - Mick Jagger was waiting ON a friend. It's not just us.

7. "It is what it is," while a nicely fatalistic sentiment, is just a tautology. It is pretty worthless, though.

8. "Fanny pack" just sounds silly. Sorry that non-US English uses fanny and about fifty thousand other words to refer to women's genitalia. Next time, we'll just call it "Gravedigger's Biscuits."

9. "Touch base" is perfectly useful. In baseball. But it's also in the lexicon of communication, somewhere below "catch up" and above "say hi to."

10. "Physicality" is not a real word.

11. "Transportation" rather than simply "transport." Again, I think this is a clarity thing. "Transport" is a verb. The vessel used to carry out that action is "transportation."

12. Hey, buddy, we also say leh-ver, not lee-ver. Mostly. The extra meanings are pretty silly, though.

13. I had no idea "turning" an age was an Americanism. It's kind of remarkable how many of the terms in this list are very new, but this one's been with me all my life. I find it a bit poetic; you "turn" the page to the next year of your life. Doesn't really work that way, but it's still a nice sentiment.

14. I'm sorry, old beans, but "trolley" sounds silly to American ears. So stick your brolly in your trolley, alright chaps?

15. Admittedly, "gotten" is a bad one. It sounds kind of trashy.

16. "I'm good" ain't good, unless someone is asking about your moral alignment. "We're good" is just as bad.

17. I wonder if, without context, Brits think we put sausages in our hair. I'm not a big fan of "bangs," the word or the fringe. It's an ugly word.

18. Take-out versus takeaway. One's really no better than the other, guys. We take it out of the restaurant, you take it away from the restaurant. And didn't we invent "take-out" food anyway?

19. Yes, ridiculosity sucks. So does the unclear "that" in the entry.

20. Get over it. It's only taken me a half hour to do so.

21. Here's a heads up - bitching about American usage of English is pretty pointless. Also, it means "a quick notification or memorandum."

22. Shall we call them railports? I know you're still using the word "depot" back there, but that's restricted to Homes and Offices now.

23. Yeah, I can't really defend "alphabetize." It is shorter than "Arrange a series of items in alphabetical order."

24. "My bad," either.

25. I sort of suspect "normalcy" started because of a mispronunciation and some drift from "normality." It's certainly got to be one of the least "offensive" terms on the list, though.

26. "Burglarize" has that pseudo-scientific air that cops and lawyers over here really like. It sounds oh so much more... something... than "rob."

27. Another one where brevity perversely loses out. "Oftentimes," though, has a snooty, somewhat pretentious tone. Politicians like to use it, because they probably feel it makes them sound "more smarter."

28. I'm unclear what this entry is supposed to be. Do you mean "eatery?" I always sort of assumed that was actually a Brit term. I have never seen the term "eaterie." And this is from someone taking luthierie classes.

29. Fortnightly can go with your brollies and your prams. Mate. Bi-weekly sucks because it's unclear (twice a week or every two weeks?)

30. I blame the schools. (Which almost certainly applies to a very large percentage of this list.)

31. A price "hike" obfuscates that GAS IS ALMOST FOUR FRIGGIN' DOLLARS A GALLON! Which, on consideration, is probably pretty cheap to our British cousins, so I'll shut up now.

32. "Going forward" is another of those pretentious business/political usages that has seeped out of their sewers. Sorry, guys.

33. "Deliverable" is a usage I just don't see very often. It is pretty clunky, though.

34. I'm certainly not going to argue with Gordon Brown. Wasn't he President of England or something?*

35. "Reach out to" carries connotations of uncertainty. I don't have a problem with it, but it is weak.

36. We don't really use the word "maths" here. Some do. But if you want to be really accurate, it's "mathematics" anyway.

37. "Regular" in place of "medium" is downright crap. Fully agreed.

38. "Expiry," like "depot," "trolley," and "pram," just sounds weird to American ears. Sorry about that.

39. I've always heard "Scots-Irish" much more than "Scotch-Irish." Granted, it doesn't make any more sense that way.

40. "That'll learn you," is tacky. It sounds wilfully ignorant.

41. "Where's it at," is also pretty bad.

42. The punctuation mark is referred to as a period, at least over here. At least we aren't calling it just a "dot." Yet. Also, "full stop" is what you come to in your car (theoretically.) Since we Americans never really shut up, a "full stop" in a sentence would make no sense whatever.

43. "Winningest" is a terrible pileup of consonants that have no business together.

44. Ok, here's a disagreement. A television series is an entire run of a program. The TV series M*A*S*H ran for eleven seasons. Over there, you say the program ran for however many series. You don't get to dictate the terms there, you invented the language, not the medium.

45. "Issue" versus "problem" is yet more doublespeak.

46. "Zed" does sound cooler.

47. We're all cazh about winning our medals. Up against, say, the English, it's no big deal. We don't even consider it winning - just medaling.

48. "For free" has been around for a long time. Don't know what we could do about it even if we could be bothered.

49. I'm not sure what the complaint is here. Is "already" a bad word?

50. I couldn't care less that people over here apparently COULD give a crap about NASCAR. I also couldn't care less that the UK still could care less about the royal family. It does bother me that Canada could care less about the Royals. They seem smarter than that.

Anyway. Enjoy your soccer match. And your tea and cookies. Biscuits are better here.

* Honestly, that was funny in my head.

14 July 2011

Anniversary Uke

So this (http://www.stewmac.com/shop/Kits/Ukulele_Kits/Soprano_Ukulele_Kit.html) is Mel's anniversary gift from me. She knows what's going on - considering I'll be making the damn thing in the next room, it'll be pretty hard to hide what's going on.

So, it came in today, along with some finishing supplies and the DVD. I'll probably just watch that on the laptop as I go, more or less. And you, lucky readers, will get day-by-day updates. Here's the kit as it looks out of the box:


And here's the body with a standard, mass-market sized paperback. It's tiny. Which I correctly guessed would be Mel's preference. It seems like there's a joke I'm missing there...



Anyway, the little bit of tooling up I need to do (clamps and glue, mostly) will be done in the morning. Home Depot, here I come (I hope you'll help me out with a jig...)